When I think back on this year, I am just overwhelmed with the way God has provided for me. SO MUCH has happened in the last 365 days. Exactly one year ago, we were in our Belmont Shore apartment (such a good time in our lives!) and I was still working at my first job. Out of pretty much nowhere in the middle of the year, our entire life was spun around when I got offered an immense blessing of a new job, which then led us moving to Newport. Zack has continued to grow in his job this year and has accomplished so so much. I am so proud of him & the way he brings honor to The Lord & furthers the kingdom of Heaven through marketing. He is truly incredible & God uses him in such massive ways. We got to see so much of the world this year. Our trips to Greece & Italy held some of my favorite moments ever. Zack got to go to so many new places for work this year, too. Never would I have expected our lives would be where they’ve led in the past year, and I mean that in a good way! God has truly provided for us in 2019.
Spiritually… this was a radical year for us both. We finally found a church we absolutely love and got plugged into it. It has been years since either of us had that, and it has made such a difference in our walks with God individually and together. Finding community/fellowship, a commitment to teaching Scripture & truth, and a teaching style that cuts straight to the heart of the matter are just a few of the things we have found in our church that we feel like has helped us become more passionate in our pursuit in a closer relationship with God.
For me personally, I feel like God has just been revealing so much about myself.. to me. Does that make sense? I think the biggest lesson this year was just how much I was finding my worth in everything except for Him. With any changing season in life, I would find myself in a tailspin emotionally. How I saw myself / my identity was largely based on my surroundings: the job I had, what my home looked like, and who I had as friends. I started to find that when I felt any of that changing, I felt myself losing my “footing” in life, so to speak. It was like my foundation was shook. If I lost that company, if I felt a friendship changing, I felt an immense amount of loss. How my relationships were doing greatly influenced how I was doing. Which, in some respects, is good. But I think for me it was too much. After many many talks with husband and a whole lot of prayer, I started to realize the reason my surroundings affected my well-being so much was because I found my worth in them. Here’s how I figured that out:
What would happen if I stripped away my job, my belongings, any and every material thing in my home.. would I still have joy?
What about my relationships? Did my joy, my worth, come from my marriage and how my husband saw me?
What about friends I’ve kept for years? If I lost those friendships, would I still have joy?
If you asked me this in January, the answer would be no. Heck, if you asked me this in July, the answer would still be no. But over the span of the entire year, God has peeled things out of my life and shown me how much I have found my worth and identity in them. He has so graciously shown me that my identity is simply being His daughter. Seen, worthy, and held by Him. Perfect in His sight. Before I am a wife, before I am a sonographer, a sister, a daughter or a friend, I am a child of God. IF I am not a wife, a sonographer, a sister, a daughter, or a friend to someone I have been for years, I am still who He establishes me as, in Him. These roles are all blessings, but blessings can also become idols in our lives if we elevate them over God.
Looking to 2020, I am so excited to see where The Lord will bring in me in my walk with Him. I cannot wait to see what new ways I learn to love my husband and to experience new people, places, and things with him. In the next year, I hope to deepen my relationships with the friends and family that have been so strategically placed in my life. I hope to bless them in encouragement, support & pure love, like they have to me. I’m looking forward to so much good ahead. Cheers to 2020 friends, hope its your favorite year yet.